I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
