Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
