I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
