It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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