I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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