So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
