so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
