its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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