Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
