He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
