If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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