I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
