Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
