need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
