My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
