Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
