My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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