I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
