awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
