how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
