You're so nebulous sometimes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
