i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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