I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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