why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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