I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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