this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
