yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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