i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm really busy with my period
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