I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
