Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
