Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
