I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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