that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
