I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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