ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
