Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
