I want to have your abortion
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
