very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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