That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
