i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
