that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
