Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
