I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
