wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
