and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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