My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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