I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I deserve this hangover.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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