you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
