I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
