I look better un-naked...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
